Today my heavens hung in black.

Things never are what they seem to be. Today I found out something I should'vn known a long time ago, but I hoped it isint as it came to be. Careing and trusting somebody for this long, and then finding out that they didn't give a shit about it, that really does hurt. But why do I let people in anyway? I suppose that I'm depending on others too much, I need the love of others. But who doesn't? Seems that I'm a softie, shouln't be! But I can't help it, I love to help others and feel what they feel. I think that's why I'm an artist, of some kind, to express my own feelings through my art. I can help everybody else but myself. Today my heavens hung in black..

Release the wheel!

Another night, another senseless feeling. i've decided to write in english from now on, so give me some slack if I write a word or two wrong. I feel like I'm a fifth wheel under there, I allways try to help people and be there for them. Most of the times I succseed, but the thing that hurts is that I get alittle in return. Well, if You're helping other people, then you do it with a reason to help that person, not with a reason like" Hey I helped You, now You must help me!" No, its not like that at all, at least not with me! I do it with a thought of helping someone and being there for them, and in the end seeing that they'r good and happy, well..that's a really good feeling. But I feel that by helping others, I'm leaving myself to die. But hey, so what! Lately I have been speaking with an really amazing person, She's like a breath of fresh air. Yes, if You're reading this, then You'll know I'm talking about You. *smiles*. With You I can really talk about everything, thank You. I truely care for You! I will try to write more often now.

Lunaticity

Hei! Täna ma magasin järjekordselt sisse. Tavaliselt ma ikka kuulen kui telefon möirgab, kuid täna ei häirinud mind mittemiski. Väga halb on olla, tunnen nagu hakkaks hulluks minema. Kõik käib ringi, kuulen igast asju, olen üldse omas maailmas. Ma pean tõsiselt aja maha võtma, mis pole kahjuks võimalik. Miski pole kunagi nii nagu ta paistab. Kui keegi oskab, siis palun aita mind!